I was lucky enough to have a little chin wag with Elon Musk the other day as we watched his servants pack up his possessions and any documents he had inadvertently removed from his White Horue office.

“He owes me this for destroying my reputation.

“I used to have a stellar reputation but thanks to Lumpy I am now a laughing stock world wide. I used to be welcome anywhere in the world. Now I’m just a laughingstock. My own families won’t even let me in their house - if I can find them.

“Truthfully, I suspect they have relocated to Canada. Toronto, I think. It’s a very large city - I’ve spent the past couple of weeks trying to find them - no luck. There’s just so damn many of them they could be anywhere.

“Which makes me wonder why his family, other than the dead and ex-wives, even talk to him.

“By the way - does anyone know where Melania is? She may know something. She’s my last hope to locating a portion of my family(s).”

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